the rest of the week was just a haze of sadness. about a week later my uncle and i spoke at his funeral. i wish i had a copy of my uncles speech. it was nothing short of amazing. this is more or less what i said, i definitely improvised a bit on the day:
"Thank you all for coming, thank you all for the love and support you have shown for me and my family.
Thank you for loving Bo.
"Lets not dwell on the things that we cannot change, but rejoice in all the things Bo left for us and all the amazing things he did in his short life on earth."
We all have great memories of Bo and our hearts will be forever imprinted with them and his love.
I was lucky enough to have had Bo as a brother for almost 16 years. Since we were 10 years apart, I was also lucky enough to remember every part of his life. Including the day he was born. It was one of the happiest of my life. I got a baby brother.
When Bo was little I used to sneak into his room and grab him out of his bed into mine so we could cuddle. I loved having him close to me.
As he got older he hated when people slept in. One of my favorite memories of Bo is him running up the stairs at 7am yelling, "BAAAARRROOOOOKKKKKEEEYYYYY" and jumping on my bed. It was time to play!
One of the things that I loved most about Bo is whenever I would come home, Bo would drop whatever he was doing whoever he was with and come give me a bone crushing hug and big kiss.
I love that he never got embarrassed by me hugging and kissing him, calling him my "little Bobo" or anything else that I could think of to make him mad in front of his friends. Even at 15!
People would always say what a polite, respectful amazing boy he was. He always shook your hand, looked you in the eye and said please and thank you. They would say, "What a great brother you have".
I could go on with stories forever, as I have thousands of them.
I love him so much.
I want each of you to remember what an amazing boy, son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend he was.
Keep him in your hearts and he will always be with you.
Remember his big smile, big heart and great time you had with him while he was here.
Baby brother Bo, I love you more than you will ever know. Please watch over us.
Rest in peace, my love."
i miss that boy so much. it hurts so bad. 6 months has done nothing to ease it, not in the least. i can talk about him sometimes without crying. sometimes. i would give anything to talk to him again. his death has left a huge hole in everyone's heart. he is missed so much and loved by so many.
writing this was not easy, but it was somewhat therapeutic. sometimes i fall apart for no reason. i try to keep it together for the most part, but it's really hard. i probably breakdown and cry more than i should, and at inappropriate times. i think about him every. single. day. and more. i cry every. single. day. sometimes it's just for a second, like when i hear a song that reminds me of him. sometimes its for a few minutes, like when i wear one of his shirts or look at his pictures. or sometimes it's all day, on days like today, where i just. can't. stop. but when i go to that sad place, whether it be for a second or for a day, i just have to remember to be strong. always have strength.
|his friends had these made for him|
i don't know everyone's beliefs and sometimes i question my own. but the best thing that i can do for myself is live how he would have wanted me (wants me) to live. be the best person i can be and maybe, just maybe, if i am lucky enough i will see him again.
|picking out masey|
i love him and miss him SO, SO much.